And just like that, on Monday morning, someone that I cannot mention in my posts anymore moved away…far, far away. For most of the day, I was pretty sad. His moving away drew a line between the before and the after. I didn’t feel sad that he was gone; it simply felt as if the previous 26 years simply evaporated into thin air. How does that work? It feels so very, very strange.
And then. I realized that I am free! And then. I FINALLY received my settlement from the divorce (Woohoo! I can finally pay my bills!). And then. Good news came through my email. And then. A doctor said that my son that’s been struggling was doing better than he had ever seen him. And then. My oldest son called and talked for an hour. (Boys-call your mamas. Your voice brings joy to the depth of their soul.) And then. A friend called me just because I was on her heart. And then. Another friend checked in with me. (Friends-don’t underestimate your value! You are treasures to your people.)
With every and then, a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I realized that the heaviness that has surrounded me for the last 14 months could finally lift and float away. I imagine it kind of like a group of balloons being released one by one by one. I am so incredibly grateful.
I don’t know what the future holds but maybe I am ok now? I’m a little weary from the constant drama surrounding me…dare I hope that I can just move forward without having to be concerned what is going to happen next?
I don’t really know how to live without extreme stress on my shoulders. I’m tired of crying and I’m tired of getting angry and I’m tired of worrying about what’s coming next. This is definitely going to take some getting used to!
I am so excited to live and be free to enjoy my life and the people around me.